Home Once Again.

Hello Everybody,

So sorry I haven't been to faithful to my writing lately. To be honest I have been trying to put it off for a long time. Ever since I have been back I have had a hard time expressing my feelings about the experiences I have had those six months I was away. Maybe I'm not sure what people expect me to say or maybe I'm not sure how to sum it up in just 5 sentences like people expect me to. I know one thing people have been totally amazing since I have come back. I am surprised and amazed on the amount of support I had when I was away. So many people told me that they were praying for me while I was away and I'm sure I felt it. I am so sorry if I have not touched base with everyone yet as I am still trying to get back into the swing of things.

Many missionaries have told  me that transitioning back into your culture is quite difficult but I thankfully have not felt that way. Maybe it helped that when I got back I had to work on a major research project of the kabary-Malagasy speech making. That kept me busy for at least two weeks. I was able to reflect on the culture through this paper in ways that I could not express in words out loud. If anyone wants a copy of it just email me and I will send it to you. I was also able to spend a little time at my grandparents house and they seemed to quite enjoy hearing about some of the differences of Malagasy culture and Canadian culture. I can express my words better if people ask specific questions instead of general questions like, 'tell me about Malagasy culture'. And I'm thinking 'oh man where do I begin'. I was also afraid to talk to people about my trip because I thought people would expect me to tell them what I all achieved while being there. I felt like this trip was like a trail and error kind of thing. I didn't know where God wanted me to use my talents or what that would look like for me. I just knew I had to try and get my feet wet one way or another. The good thing is that AIM gave me a ministry to focus on but I also had time to explore other ministries on weekends. The point is I don't think I accomplished anything actually but what God accomplished well words can't even express. I think more than anything God worked through my heart; showed me my sins, my weaknesses, and my dependence on him. He definatly confirmed my call to be a missionary even through during the most difficult moments of my time. I am sorry if this bog is a little on the choppy side; I guess all my thoughts are scattered inside my head. Thanks for reading my blog while I was away; it really feels like all of you shared in my journey with me. Praise the Lord for all he has done and will do to come!

Off to Diego

Well I thought I would do one last blog before I go to Diego for three weeks.  If you look at a map Diego is the very Northern tip of Madagascar. I am taking the place so it will only take me a couple of hours but if I did decide to take the taxi bus it would have taken two days. I am looking forward to going to another region especially when this one happens to have lovely beaches. I am a little nervous however about taking the airplane all by myself with my limited ability to speak Malagasy.  Oh well guess I will just show anyone my plane ticket and they will point me out in the right direction. I am thankful for the opportunity to be going by plane since I heard the bus is very rough and usually takes longer than expected.

So Diego is an opportunity to observe another ministry; specifically one that works with Muslims. Another AIM missionary, Esther has started working in Diego shortly after I arrived in Madagascar. Her ministry is working as a teacher teaching English to the University. About 90% of Diego is Muslim and I'm not sure about the other 10% but at least you get the idea. Esther's job is go along side the Christian Malagasy young people and equip them to minister to their fellow Muslim peers. Now I'm not quite sure what I am doing yet; I think I might help Esther in preparing her English lessons and I know she has a Bible study that she might want help with but other than that I will see when I get there. I think for the most part I am there to observe what Muslim ministry could look like for me in the future. Yeah I'm a little nervous because I'm not sure what to expect.  I know Diego is a very dark region and many people have told me it's nice to visit but not so nice to live.  I also just found out that there is no running water where I will be staying, this shouldn't be a surprise to me at all but to be honest it is a little. Hey I have been living in Africa like a queen; I'm surprised it has lasted this long. So just please pray that God will do wonderful things in these next few weeks; especially to my heart as I learn from these people and hopefully build some relationships with some of the students I will be working along side. I know it's hard to build relationships in just three weeks but hey they know English so lets start there.  Oh and here's another important fact; the Malagasy language is different there.  So in other words back to square one.  I did however learn the greeting, Bola Tsara which basically means Hello!

Hello Friends

Another monthly update coming your way.  I know, I know, I started with trying to do weekly updates but that obviously didn't last too long.  Hope all of you can forgive me.

Anyways this past week was the first week I back after Christmas Vacation.  It pretty much felt like I had been on vacation forever for some reason.  I spent my vacation doing more language hours; trying to work ahead so I can finish my language course a month early (which you will hear more about later).  This meant doing language lessons on Christmas Eve and the rest of the holiday.  It went alright though; increasing my hours I think has made me progress in my language ability a bit more. I appreciate all your prayers in this area, it has really helped. I actually talked to the taxi drives twice during Christmas vacation and it was more than just 5 words.  Of course the words might have been in the wrong order and my pronunciation being very poor but I think they both understood me. I also talked a little in Malagasy with the English teachers I work with and they said that if I stayed a year longer I would be really good! I think everyone is just glad that I am trying and they enjoy laughing with me about it. So next thing on the agenda is working on my Ethnography.  I told you guys about that right?  I'm not sure but anyways it is a study of a topic in the Malagasy culture that I can learn about and than do a written report.  My topic is on the Kabary which is a tradition that stems way back in history (they are unsure when it exactly occurred  of speech making.  Now this isn't just any kind of speech making this is a Malagasy style of speech making.  Malagasy people like to express there feelings through many proverbs and images.  Kabarys are unique to only the Malagasy culture because the speeches are created around the Malagasy style of speaking.  This is something the Malagasy people are very proud of because it is something that belongs to them and not any other culture.  The Malagasy people have had a lot of things taken away from them but this is not one of them.  I am supposed to do research through research and observation.  I have supposed to have 5 interviews and lets just say there has been a few bumps on the way that makes me a little short reaching that goal so far but it is okay I know God will come through for me.

I don't know if I will have a chance to blog you again in the next month so thought I would let you know about my next adventure. I heading off in three weeks to the region of Diego which is at the very northern tip of Madagascar.  If you look at a map you can find it pretty easily.  Anyways this region is full of Muslims and  since I am thinking of working with Muslims full term this will be a great opportunity for me to see what this kind of ministry would look like for me.  I will be living with a full time AIM missionary there who is a University English teacher.  I will help her in class and outside of class with preparation.  I could really use your prayer as I go and check out this ministry.  Pray that God will give me direction through checking out this ministry and pray that God will continue to give me an open and loving heart towards the Muslims.  Also pray that I will be able to get all my schoolwork and ministry work wrapped up here so my focus can be there in Diego.  So the next time I write I may be getting reading to pack up for home because shortly after I get back from Diego I go home.  So hopefully I will write when I get back from Diego but if I don't keep me in your prayers for my trip back which is March second.  Thank you so much for all of your support.  All of you are amazing! 

Merry Christmas

First off I would like to wish everybody near and far a very Merry Christmas. I will make this one short as clearly everyone will be pretty busy with festivities; in fact I soon have the great opportunity to open my Christmas presents from my family.  Part of me still isn't sure that it is Christmas today mostly because almost everything that I familiarize Christmas with is not here; at least not concretely.  But what I have realized or shall I say what God is making me realize is that all these traditions and ideas that I have about what makes Christmas well Christmas are pretty much applicable where I am right now.  No I don't get to celebrate Christmas the way I'm used to but I get a glimpse of the traditions of other cultures and more than that I get a glimpse of Christ Jesus birth in a whole new light.  Stepping back from the traditions of Christmas that I usually have with my family has made me better reflect why I celebrate Christmas in the first place.  I am starting to realize I don't need my old traditions to make it feel like Christmas but instead I just need to bask in the presence of God's love that came in the form of a helpless baby boy named Jesus.  That is what I pray for you and for me; that we  not loose our focus on the true meaning of Christmas but instead we would bask in it.  Merry Christmas everyone!    

Deception

I was just reflecting on this song by Flame; this famous Christian rapper.  I realize not everyone appreciates rap like I do but everyone can acquire something from this song.  It's called, "The Great Deception".  In summery it takes about the story of deception that first started with Adam and Eve and ends with Jesus resurrection.  Adam and Eve were entrusted by God as the caretakers of the earth but only one condition; God was the caretaker of them.  He knew what was best for them and that they needed to trust him with that.  But Satin made them question their place in creation; maybe God was holding something back from them.  Do you ever think that God is ever holding something back from you?  I mean that is why we escape sometimes to our video games or movies.  We feel like we have to know what is going on in this world; the latest trends and media news.  The great deception started with Adam and Eve feeling like they needed to know all sides of wisdom; good and evil.  Now that we know God and evil we are confronted with deception daily.  Deception comes in all different shapes and sizes but we must address by pin pointing it out. Then we acknowledge that Jesus knows this deception and faced it head on.  First by going to the desert and being tempted by the devil for bread and power.  He reviled to us that it is possible to be human and to  overcome deception.  His secret is drawing near to God for protection.  He did this before the Resurrection to show us he knows deception is common to every man but that it is still possible to overcome it as a man since he already did it for us. You just have to listen to the song yourself, it has great biblical truth in it.

I am reflecting on this song because I see the truth it brings to my own life.  I am deceived in many ways by Satin but I do not address it very often.  I am deceived into thinking that I am not worth much in the eyes of God.  I doubt the gifts God has given me often and I long for other people's gifts.  I deceive myself into believing that I am missing out on things here on the mission field like music, movies, news, snow, etc.  When I know that I don't need these things and they are not a part of my identity.  I sometimes deceive myself into thinking more highly of myself than I ought to be; kind of like Adam and Eve did. I find these important to share with you because it is one of the hardest things to do even with fellow Christians.  Even when I share these with you I know they will not vanish and automatically disappear but that I will probably still struggle with them. The reason I do share them with you is because  

A Child of Christ

I should be in bed right now but for some strange reason I can't seem to fall asleep.  Part of it could be the fact that it is kareoke night for the bar right next to me and the other reason could be that I had three glasses of coke at seven in the evening.  For whatever reason here I am writting in my blog trying to catch up for the last few weeks of not hearing a peep out of me. 

I know my last blog was on quite a serious note and might even worried some but the fact is I felt like I had to write it.  I wanted people to know that those feeling were real and a daily struggle for most missionaries dispite how long they have been on the field.  I have been fighting with my identity since I have gotten here because I everything I believed to be right was questioned.  I did not want to think that the way Malagasy people were doing things were wrong so instead I starting reversing everything in my head and questioning my own culture, maybe everything I grew up to thing was right was actually wrong.  I started to wonder if my identity was at any value at all other than being the foriene one.  I mentioned this to my mother and these were the wised words I had heard since i have been here.  This is what she said to me, "Leah your identity is in Christ".  I got so mad at her at the time because I felt like she just did not understand how hard it was. The reality however was that she was right, no matter where I am in the world, no matter how much I have changed from my experiences externallly or internally I know that one thing will never change I will always be a child belonging to Christ. The thing is that I was right about my Mom, she cannot fully understand what I am going through because she's not here to experience it with me.  It is wong of me to put that kind of expectation upon her. I can give her credit for intrusting God with her only daugher to be doing missions halfway around the world while she is at the same time dealing with an illness.  I admire her faith and streagth.

I think I am finally getting a little more tired or maybe I am just tired of writting well either one gives me good enough reason to close with some prayer requests.

Prayer Request #1
Pray for my continual language study as I am getting further in my lessons but not so much on my progress which can be frustating but also humbling.

Prayer Request # 2
Pray for my continual growth in the Lord.  With all the busniss with my studies and ministry sometimes you get distracted with worrying and husling that you forget gving God time to spiritually prepare my heart for service for him.

Prayer Request #3
Pray for my new relationships with Malagasy people.  I praise God that he gave me malagasy people that I can have friendships with; now it is just maintaining them in the mist of my busy scheduale with langauge, ministry, and my Ethnography study (study of the culture for school). 

Prayer Request #4
Please pray that I will not get burnt out as I take on a lot of responsibilities at the school I help out at and as I continue my studies at Briercrest through many assignments that take up my time.  I would say that between ministry and assignments I do not give myself much time to myself.  For the most part I do not mind that because I feel I do not need to just do nothing or sit on the computer for the day.  I am just afraid that all the work will catch up with me and not get done by the time I leave in four months.

Prayer Request #5
Please pray for my family because I know they are going through a lot and I just pray that God will help me to try to be of good support to them dispite not being present with them.

Thank you for your continual prayer and support for me.  I love all of you very much.

Up Late Thinking

I may regret this tomorrow but here I am anyways writting away at half past ten at night. That may not seem late to all of you but for missionaries this is an hour and a half past bedtime.  I can say that this is a true statement for me because if I go to bed any later than 9:30 I don't want to get up the next morning for school.  I am told that this is due to all the thoughts that run through your mind all day long.  I know that after language all I can think about is how do I pronounce that or waite I just forgot the new word I just learned.  I also find myself thinking about the culture constantly like "will I ever understand it" or "will I ever grow to love it as my own especially in only five months?" These things are important to me because I see that even though it feels like a different world it is not, it is the same world that I live in.  It is one world just with different divitions.  I know that this part of the world is home for many people; just as I have a place to call home.  I know that when people come to visit my home I would apprecaite it if they tried to make it their home too, even if it was only for a short while. 

I wouldn't consider myself a missionary; at least not yet.  I feel as I have a lot to learn from other missionaries and a lot to grow in. My heart is still full of selfish motives and I was nieve to think that those selfish desires would leave when I got to Madagascar.  No I am not magically transformed into being this humble Godly saint.  But I do feel as if God has me here for a reason and he wants me to go through this cleasing period.  Well actually I think that will never stop but I hope that I will grow continually and my thoughts and actions will be tested constantly.  Thank you for your prayers and thoughts.  I love you all very much.